2. Spend 36 hours in bed, eating 2 small bowls of plain white rice. It helps with drinking fluids.
3. Stagger out of bed, eat another small bowl of rice. Enjoy feeling of being upright and not in pain.
4. Discover that you can tolerate small amounts of chili mixed in the rice. Mmmm. Flavour. You can eat almost 1/3 of a cup of this!
5. It's now day 3, and you can branch out. Go wild. Try a half bowl of muesli. It'll only take 25 minutes or so to eat. For lunch, revert back to chili and rice. Dinner? Almost an entire half asparagus omelette!
6. Day 4. The children have caught the illness. Eat a slightly less small bowl of cereal, and for lunch, almost the rest of the omelette. Dinner is great, but by now your stomach feels like you've undergone gastric bypass surgery and only holds half a bowl.
Congratulations! You've now lost 5 pounds! If you can ignore the near-constant hacking cough and your feverish children, or if you maybe wanted to lose weight, this would be a good thing.
Swine flu sucks. Get the vaccine. Once it's available...