I wiped my leg on a hedge

Warning: post contains poop.

I'm now 4 months post official separation - the CRA and my employer are notified, I am on the road to divorce. Which is a really ugly word for a very useful practice, people live a long time, they change, and we should allow people to dissolve partnerships that aren't working. Right now I'm pretty delighted to be officially separated, and looking forward to finalizing everything. My soon to be ex spouse? Not so much, he's wallowing in misery, but at least he's functioning.

Running is what makes me feel good. It boosts my mood, the boost lasts a long time, even if it's a shitty run. And wow, was yesterday's run ever shitty! I forgot rule 1 of running: don't do it after a sizable meal. The meal can stimulate the bowels, as can the running, and realizing at the point farthest from your door that you have to poop is not the runner's high we dream of.

I didn't make it. I really didn't make it. I've pooped a bit running before, it's horrible but manageable. The worst is usually trying to take off soiled tights without getting shit all over the bathroom, and at worst you have to clean the bathroom, which I do anyways.

I wasn't in tights. I was in shorts.

Shorts not built for containment.

I felt horror as I realized the shit was going to be visible. There is no shirt long enough to hide that. I had poop on my shoes. I wiped my leg on a hedge. My shit coated leg. I really, really, really hoped people would think it was mud. Even though it hasn't rained in weeks.

You know what? It was still a pretty good run, and I still felt good after. And yes, I had to clean the bathroom.

Lunchtime! I won't be running for a few hours, the hedges are safe...for now.