Friday, November 28, 2008

Silliness is the opposite of insanity

There's too much insanity in the world. Look at Mumbai/Bombay, where it looks like religious whackjobs have decided their ideology is more important than people's lives. I think they should be called thugs and criminals, not terrorists - terrorism has an appeal that criminality may lack.

On the silliness side, our brilliant government has decided that if they can't win a majority government following the rules, they'll change the rules and starve the opposition of cash. This is their response to the worldwide economic fiasco. It'll save all of $20 million every 4 years or so. And, not inconsquentially, make it more likely they'll win the next election with an actual majority government, as they have proved far better at fundraising. Now, I think the opposition should focus on getting better at fundraising, it's not like setting up a website that accepts donations is beyond today's technology, but they also need to shape up as who in their right mind would support a lame duck leader like Dion?

Is religion, on the whole, bad? Hard to decide, and it really shouldn't be given all religions claim to teach goodness. So at the least religion is one justification people can use to do bad things. There are others - I disagree with atheists who claim religion is the sole cause of much evil, like the inquisition, holocaust, war, etc. If it hadn't been religious differences, the whackos among us would have found other justifications. Mao and Stalin used political ideology. I can't make ideology silly right now. Some ideologies are silly, but their practitioners tend to cause too much harm.

OK, I will try to make ideology silly.

Conservative ideology - government is bad. Vote for me.
Liberal ideology - it's not your fault. Unless you're a conservative.
Creationist ideology - I didn't evolve! Try not to agree, please.
Fundamentalist Islam ideology - women are too hot, so we wrap them in cloth. Does this mean they acknowledge their penises are stronger than their willpower?
Papal ideology - I am infallible. So were my predecessors. But I'm sorry about the whole Galileo thing. And the concordat with the Nazis. Bad connection to our boss, I guess.

Fingers crossed, India and Pakistan will work together to root out criminal wimps bent on attacking civilians to make a point.

Insult of the day: Nipple totalitarian (for a breast feeding fanatic - and yes, boob is best, and I am glad those days are well behind me).

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

More snow!

The white stuff continues to fall, albeit slowly. Cheers me right up, it does.

The "holiday season" is upon us. Lots of midwinter festivities coincide with the winter solstice, which makes sense as you need a big party to celebrate the return of light. Celebrate what you want, but it all started when we got fed up with the dark and partied when we saw the days were getting longer, even if only by a couple of minutes.

I know where Christmas and many of its symbols come from - the tree, the manger, Santa, gifts, lights. But where does the Easter Bunny come from? The holiday marks a state execution and subsequent miraculous revival and physical liftoff into skyland. Where do we get a bunny hiding chocolate eggs from that? Did Jesus hide eggs in his tomb? Did he breed rabbits at any time? I thought he was a carpenter. Clearly my theological shortcomings are significant.

I keep meaning to read the bible. But the beginning is really dull. Genesis. All that begetting. I think the only thing we've achieved from that old and often miserably translated book is the go forth and multiply bit. That we proved really good at. Time to move away from that, and onto something useful, like treating people well. Assuming you want to follow an old book, which many seem to inclined to do. I am also ideologically impaired. I like silliness, but it's not exactly an ideology. I dislike ideologues. Thinking is better than reacting based on dogma or ideology. In my opinion. Which is, as noted, uninformed by theological or biblical knowledge. I do, however, possess a high degree of knowledge on Monty Python skits and movies. So I know about the killer rabbit, just not the Easter one. The killer one is a lot funnier, and you don't have to spend a small fortune every Spring buying stuff to convince small children that a giant rabbit snuck into the house and hid eggs.

This is the first year all my kids are skeptical of Santa. My youngest can't figure out the logistics. How many people live in the world? He visits them all? The same night? How? He's always been a skeptic.

Silly things people do because of ideology.

1. Tell men in dresses bad things they've done.
2. Communion - tell me it isn't ritualistic pseudo cannibalism.
3. Funny hats. What religion doesn't have them? Hats, headgear, whatever - it seems popular.

Asshat is one of my favourite insults, although I've never used it. I just like how it sounds. Asshat.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Snow!

I realize, given the title of this blog, it should perhaps be psnow, but there is a line between silly and stoopid which that crosses.

It is snowing. I love snow. More is better, even though I hate driving in the stuff. I paid over $1,500 last year in snow-related car repairs, and that was without any collisions. Did you know - and I didn't - that if you overheat your engine by repeatedly spinning your tires, you can crack the manifold? This results in a very bad smell as coolant leaks all over the snow/ice/meltwater from spinning tires. It also results in a very expensive car repair - even more expensive than that miraculous invention, the snow tire. I do know snow tires work. I just didn't buy any. See fourth last word in first sentence for how this should be discribed.

Lines I really like:
Republicans only care about children until the cord is cut. (from Margaret and Helen's blog)
The reasonable man seeks to adapt himself to suit the world. The unreasonable man seeks to adapt the world to suit himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man. (Shaw)
There's no proof anywhere that life was meant to be serious. (I forget, and will look it up)
Sir, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea. (Lady Aster)
Madam, if I were your husband, I'd drink it. (Sir Winston Churchill)

Oh, to have a mind that quick! It must make life fun. And frustrating.

Now for some economic predictions for 2009. If you wish to use these to make money, take the direct route - send it to your favourite charity, then invest the tax refund in government bonds or, better still, your highest-interest debt.

1. The markets will go up, and down, and people will freak out either way.
2. The US will run a big deficit. Really big.
3. My request for a bailout will be declined. Apparently I am not too big to fail. Should I give up exercise?

Friday, November 21, 2008

Psyllium, psychiatrists, psst

I have nothing more to say about running, particularly about my running, and really I just don't have enough to say on any one topic to have a specific blog.

My head is pulled 2 ways now.

1. The economy sucks, so Christmas is a frivolous expense
2. I have kids, Christmas is not optional

The kids want items approaching the GDP of a small country - really small, like Lichtenstein. But well beyond my willingness or ability to fund. What is a peavey amp? Why is it better than the one we bought last year at the pawn shop? Isn't the guitar loud enough now? And how is a distortion pedal different from a wah-wah pedal different from the knobby bits on the guitar that should have some function? Do philosophers ask themselves these questions, or just tell their offspring to piss off?

The middle child wants a Wii. Wii wii wii all the way home. A Wii seems kind of cool, but we already have a PS2 with Guitar Hero and Rock Band. And other games I don't play, but they seem to capture much of his time and effort. Unlike school, which captures his attention only when he is forcibly confined in a desk - now immediately in front of the teacher, as she has figured out his ability to do as little as possible while seeming quite diligent. I can see his future CV:

Serious rock drummer seeks low-input employment to fund video game habit.

Education
Some grade 7 done

Experience
Able to work under constant supervision, if nagged continually
Kick ass drumming skills

Does this sound like a child who deserves a Wii? Do any of us deserve a Wii, when 40% of the world's population lacks even a basic latrine? Yet somehow I can't envision my children's faces lit up with joy at the knowledge that mummy spent the Christmas money on outhouses for slum dwellers in the Congo.

I once seriously considered purchasing a sheep for a village in my husband's name. That was back when our daughter called him Daaaaaad. He's the only man I know whose instinct, when given the choice between finishing a beer and chasing a sheep, is to choose the latter. Really, in our neighbourhood it should never be a choice, it's not like we live in the country, yet he did end up chasing and tackling a sheep that had escaped its owner/future BBQ chef. And he did injure himself most seriously, and there was much laughing. So for a while anything sheep themed was funny.

Zoe has requested a chicken in her name for a village. Not as an alternative to a gift, as an additional one. My aunt has decided to help the poor. She is extremely rich, so this should not have been a recent decision for her. She has decided to help the poor by telling us all to buy our children livestock for the third world. I don't know what she wants us to buy her - wool sweaters instead of cashmere?

To Wii or nNot to Wii, that is my question.
Whether tis nobler to provide foodstuffs for starving children or, in the name of greed, purchase it?

I am now plagiarizing from myself. Exerpt from e-mail sent, expressing the thought that perhaps my children would accept poetry in lieu of gifts.

Ode to a 9 year old boy on Christmas morn.
Oh Westley, how the sun doth reflect off the snow and make thy cheeks sparkle. How the tears from the giftless tree gleam in the morning light. Oh, how thy does dentest the floor with thy rage, tis truly a sight to behold.