Flaming ass cups

My son has a hip problem. He's had an MRI and 2 x-rays, but no diagnosis, so naturally my husband took him to accupuncture.

I've done some reading about accupuncture - about its true history, not the myth that it's been practiced in China for 6,000 years therefore must be right. About results of clinical trials looking at how effective it is for various conditions. About the total absence of evidence for meridians or qi or whatever you want to call the hypothesis behind the accupuncture points.

My distillation of this reading is that accupuncture has a powerful placebo effect, and needling can have some beneficial impact on pain perception. But it doesn't have a curative effect. I don't expect it to help with my son's very real and very debilitating hip pain - either time will, or the physicians will diagnose the cause and fix it. I refuse to believe that this debility will be permanent.

Where do flaming ass cups fit into this? Well, his second accupuncturist - the first one's in China - applied flaming cups to his ass. I think the idea behind cupping is that it draws toxins out. Yeah, in the same way a hickey does - it doesn't, it causes bruising. So I am now doubly skeptical of this particular mode of treatment, as my opinion is that applying flaming cups to a 14 year old boy's bare butt is closer to pedophelia than medicine. Git yer flamin' cups off my kid's ass, quack!

Flaming ass cups would be an awesome name for a band.